Tips To Survive Living With College Roommates!
Living in a shared apartment resembles a minefield in terms of conflict potential. Little things that you would not have noticed yourself can cause the roommate to overflow and lead to a full-fledged roommate conflict. The milk was outside for too long and is now lukewarm, the laundry was not hung properly, someone does not take their hair out of the drain after a shower or has never bought toilet paper. So there is potential for stress on every corner. And thats no wonder because in a shared apartment, people are thrown together come together with their mixed-up, mostly different, ideas of (living) together. It is no wonder that there is a bang and a flatshare conflict arises. And even rules dont always help because you have to agree on them first. But what to do when the air is full of pent-up frustration and war-like arguments have broken out? We have compiled the tricks of the professionals for you. With these tips, even the trickiest roommate conflict will vanish in no time. 3 Tips With Which You Can Solve Every Roommate Conflict 1. Are you really willing to resolve the roommate conflict? Sounds obvious, but its not. To get rid of the stress permanently, you really have to be ready for a solution. Solving the conflict should always be in the foreground and declare a common goal. Since this is a search for a compromise, it can be helpful to prepare mentally that the result will differ from your own ideas. 2. Get a third party on board Especially if it is a really serious or particularly run-in flat share conflict, it can be helpful to bring a neutral person to it. In technical jargon, this function is called a mediator . This is a person who mediates in the dispute, summarizes the conflict positions as neutrally as possible and gathers solutions. The armed forces themselves have to come to a compromise. A mediator is not a referee, but only there to direct the conversation. Caution when choosing - only choose someone who is really neutral! 3. The right communication Communication is the be-all and end-all to successfully solve your roommate conflict. First of all, the obvious, but by no means self-evident: LEAVE EXCALS! Also try to listen actively. This does not mean staring apathetically at the area, but looking into the other persons face. When it is your turn to present, try to take responsibility for your own opinion and things that you have done or said and not just looking for excuses. Always speak only for yourself, never for a group and formulate ego messages. So dont fall into the "you always do ...", instead start with "I have the feeling that ..." or "I feel ...". That takes the edge off the message. Advanced users can also try to pack their criticism as a sandwich. This is a negative criticism of sandwiching two positive statements. The effect: your counterpart feels less attacked and can accept the criticism more openly. Just try these tips for your next roommate conflict. You will be amazed how easily and quickly such a conflict can be resolved! How To Be A Good Roommate? 1. Be considerate Think of the other. Try to keep noise levels low when necessary, such as when youre studying or sleeping. Turn down the music, socialize and talk on the phone outside the bedroom. 2. Share the space The bedrooms are usually small and uncomfortable spaces. Put your belongings on your side of the room and try to respect their space, unless they have decided to share part of it. If they differ in decoration, place the things you like on your side. 3. Clean frequently When you must share a small space, a tiny mess can seem huge. If you cant organize during the week, keep clutter on your side of the room and clean when you can. Disorder can create tension, especially if your partner is very neat and detailed. 4. Respect each others space Dont snoop around on your partners stuff, no matter how much you love it, how much you like his clothes or pen. If you are going to use something of his, ask him. The last thing you want is for your partner to think they cant trust you. 5. Set rules together Coexistence revolves around respecting the spaces of others and that is why it is essential that both be governed by the same principles. Set rules, such as about sleeping habits, musical interests, cleaning the room, alcohol, smoking, and visiting. 6. Accept that they may not get along Not everyone has a good relationship with their roommates. If you do what you can to ensure a good relationship but it doesnt work, talk to the caregiver at the residence and it may help you find new ways to resolve conflicts or adapt to this unhappy situation for at least a while.